bright light at the end

It was a rainy a cafe..
I was sitting with a bunch of friends...
with a cup of warm English tea, placed snugly between my palms..

'I kept on seeing you getting lost in your own thoughts..why?'
'I am thinking and evaluating..'
'budak bahasa... *smiled '
'sure is buddy..sure is..'

where am I today?
have I changed in any certain ways?
am I being industrious enough?
do I make lots of friend?
how good is my newly installed skilled?
have I achieved something?
have I lose something?
am I satisfied with my life?
am I being nice to everybody?
do I care enough for the people around me?
did I spread any kindness today?
do I smile and laugh enough everyday?
is my life blessed by God...?

     As far as I am concerned, life's been fair to me. You lose something you gain something instead. Beautiful rule that still applies; I am still being tested in so many ways..some of it came from my own clumsiness (cemerkap), some came from God however it is the most wonderful form of 'test', it's a gift in disguise.

     To whom it may apply, I would humbly allow you to say all there is till you're content..because at the end of the day I'd like to present to you the outcome of your service : the ongoing betterment of me. Along the way of changing, I believe I do make mistakes (which I highly regret )..but that would not keep me off track for long..The journey is miles ahead and if I am being held up by the bitterness of it..I would evolve no more. It is all but a fools' tale full of bull's awful anger. Life is too short, therefore I shall make it meaningful.

       Always listen to yourself, don't be blinded by your own self-made image. It gets you no where..find your strength and build upon that. Further flourish the talent that already lie within you. Oh there is so much to do!! So many interesting people to see!! Life is exciting indeed ay..Be free from perception, know your own frame of self concept..and your interest *importantly*..

As for me..
     Theatre is my passion my dear love.. I shall devote my pure commitment to you..You are my escapism, a world which is build by real emotions and deep concentration. It is never about the glamour, it is about expressing yourself in the most decent way. I know within these few weeks to come after the Diwali holidays, my workload would be pouring in, together with another two commitments which will benefit me with experience, knowledge, and cash $ . Allah is Mighty (alhamdulillah) 

*p/s one thing for sure, I need to be more serious in my studies..procrastination is building within me.. still in honeymoon period I guess..*sigh*

'you want my sandwich..?'
'it's already your leftover dude.. =.='
'hehe..I know..'
'aku nda makan bha lebihan urang..'
 'cepat, kelas pukul 4.30'


Lisa said...

spread ur "positiveness",honey. i cud use some now.=.=

theatre is awesome.heavy work but at the end of the day seems like worth all the effort.but im more inclined to stage managing n bout u?

Aifaa Petra said...

ahh..I am okay with both,however for now I'm focusing more on acting..btw lisa, if you're really interested, keep a close tab with your university theatre club.. i believe, they should be recruiting crew right now..since in november there will be a bog theatre event held in be quick, grab the opportunity

# ike I mentioned before, great escapism to all those bullshit in life.. ^^

Lisa said...

im in it now.think its called MAKUM.not surprise if i see u on stage! ^__^

Aifaa Petra said...

OH MY GOD LISAA! AWHSOMEE GILAA...congrats girl! aww.. :'D